#115
Why teachers drink
ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE READY FOR THIS?
The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and
vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by
which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe
to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead
sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the
leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the
oceans?
A. The tides are a fight
between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the
moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum.
I forget where the sun joins the fight
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage
company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house
they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. In a democratic society, how
important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can
only happen when a male gets an election
Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
(Shoot
yourself now , there is little hope)
Q.. What happens to your body as you
age?
A. When you get old, so do
your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a boy when he
reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his
boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
(So
true)
Q. Name a major disease associated
with cigarettes
A. Premature death
Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to
the bull instead of the cow
Q. How can you delay milk turning
sour?
A. Keep it in the cow
(Simple,
but brilliant)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the
body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into
3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium
contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the
abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O, U. (wtf!)
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby
Q. What is the most common form of
birth control?
A. Most people prevent
contraception by wearing a condominium
(That
would work)
Q. Give the meaning of the term
'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a
district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
(Julius
Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.
(Irrefutable)
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What
is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow
in damp places and they look like umbrellas
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a
sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be
soft as your face.
(OMG)
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be
after you be eight (brilliant)
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik
wears on his head
